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Cigar Quotes and Anecdotes: Insightfully amusing cigar commentary.

“As you approach thirty, you have a thirty ring gauge; as you approach fifty, you have a fifty ring gauge.”
— Cuban saying

“…I promised myself that if I ever I had some money that I would savor a cigar each day after lunch and dinner. This is the only resolution of my youth that I have kept, and the only realized ambition which has not brought disillusion.”
— Somerset Maugham

“A cigar numbs sorrow and fills the solitary hours with a million gracious images.”
— George Sand

“The cigar is the perfect complement to an elegant lifestyle.”
— George Sand

“To fully appreciate fine cigars, it’s important to recognize the various types of cigars. There are two basic categories of cigar. The lit and unlit.”
— P. Martin Shoemaker

“If I had taken my doctor’s advice and quit smoking when he advised me to, I wouldn’t have lived to go to his funeral.”
— George Burns

“When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they’d say, ‘Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.’ Of course it’s also a good prop on the stage… When you can’t think of what you are supposed to say next, you take a puff on your cigar until you do think of your next line.”
— George Burns
“If I paid $10 for a cigar, first I’d make love to it, then I’d smoke it.”
— George Burns

“Cigars served me for precisely fifty years as protection and a weapon in the combat of life… I owe to the cigar a great intensification of my capacity to work and a facilitation of my self-control.”
— Sigmund Freud

“Women are jealous of cigars… they regard them as a strong rival.”
— William Makepeace Thackeray

“I smoke in moderation. Only one cigar at a time.”
— Mark Twain

“I pledged myself to smoke but one cigar a day. I kept the cigar waiting until bedtime, then I had a luxurious time with it. But desire persecuted me every day and all day long. I found myself hunting for larger cigars…within the month my cigar had grown to such proportions I could have used it as a crutch.”
— Mark Twain

“I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours’ labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.”
— Mark Twain

“Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man’s enjoyment of his cigar.”
— Mark Twain

“If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.”
— Mark Twain

“I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent form.”
— Winston Churchill

“Any cigar smoker is friend, because I know how he feels.”
— Alfred de Musset

“There are two things a man never forgets – his first love and his first cigar.”
— John Bain

“Cognac and cigars… it’s like finding the perfect woman. When you’ve got her, why go chasing after another?”
— Michael Nouri

“By the cigars they smoke, and the composers they love, ye shall know the texture of men’s souls.”
— John Galsworthy

“To smoke is human; to smoke cigars is divine.”
— Unknown

“Cigars after dinner are delightful, smoking before breakfast is unnatural.”
— Bernard Shaw

“What this country needs is a good 5-cent cigar.”
— Thomas Marshall

“He who has money smokes cigars but he who has no money smokes paper.”
— an old Spanish saying

“A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry to a woman.”
— E.G. Bulwer-Lytton Darnley

“Where there’s a good smoke there’s a cigar smoker.”
— Cuban saying

“If a woman knows a man’s preferences, including his preference in cigars, and if a man knows what a woman likes, they will be suitably armed to face one another.”
— Colette

“After a truly good meal, an outstanding cigar is still the most satisfying after-dinner activity that doesn’t involve two human beings.”
— Brad Shaw

“A woman is just a script, but a cigar is a motion picture.”
— Samuel Fuller

“There’s peace in Larranaga, there’s calm in Henry Clay,
And a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.”
— Rudyard Kipling

“There are men here and there to whom the whole of life is like an after-dinner hour with a cigar; easy, pleasant, empty, perhaps enlivened by some fable of strife to be forgotten before the end is told – even if there happens to be any end to it.”
— Joseph Conrad

“Given the choice between a woman and a cigar, I will always choose the cigar.”
— Groucho Marx


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